APPLE
SUMMER 2018 42

present these high-functioning adults as unable to understand sarcasm, jokes and other shades of normal social interaction while working as scientists, doctors and academics.

While the first part is true in my son’s case, the professional picture does not reflect real life.

The common belief is that Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Mozart and Apple’s Steve Jobs had Asperger’s. But a top-notch brain doesn’t equal a top-notch job. My son has fought his way to a good job, and it hasn’t been an easy journey.

One of the 10 myths on Autism Calgary’s website is that those with high-functioning autism can find jobs and be self-supporting. The fact is 90 per cent of such adults are not working.

As was the case with my son, Asperger’s is often not diagnosed until a child or adult has serious difficulties in school, at work or in everyday social situations. They are often diagnosed when seeking help for anxiety or depression.

Kyle was an engaging, loving child.

But as the mother of a son with

Asperger’s Syndrome, the saga of our family’s three decades of frustration, heartbreak, laughter and love seems incomplete when told by others.

When my oldest son was diagnosed with Asperger’s in adulthood, he said to me after a counselling session: “Mom, I don’t understand why you don’t already just know this, but she (the counseller) says I might want to tell you that I love you.” This was followed by a rib-bruising hug from my bear-sized son.

I did know Kyle loved me. But this expression of common, socially expected emotion is just one of many things that baffle my now 31-year-old in his travels through expectations of “normalcy.” It’s not that he doesn’t care about others. He just doesn’t express those feelings in ways others expect.

Asperger’s Syndrome technically no
longer exists. It was one of several autism
subtypes that in 2013 the American
Psychiatric Association (APA) made part
of the broad autism spectrum disorder
(ASD) diagnosis. Those with Asperger’s
(I will use this term because that is how
my son identifies) are considered to be on
the spectrum’s “high-functioning” end.

Autism affects how the brain works. It can cause problems in thinking, feeling, language and the ability to relate to others. Its symptoms and severity vary widely.

This complex disorder is on the public’s radar now more than ever. Popular TV shows with characters who have autism include The Big Bang Theory, The Good Doctor and Atypical. Bestselling books such as The Rosie Project and The Rosie Effect have also helped raise awareness. When I watch these shows or read the Rosie books, I laugh, but it can feel like tears.

I see my son in the characters— extremely intelligent but struggling with everyday communication. He simply cannot read the intentions of the people he calls “muggles.” (Others in the autism community call them “neurotypicals,” or “nypicals.”) The shows and books